Cringe-worthy

"It makes me feel better when I see other people in so much worse shape that I am," said the Woman.

It does?

I heard this recently and I cringed.

I hear this often. Too often. And only once or twice it's been about me. This time it wasn't.

I don't think this particular Woman really meant the message it conveyed: "I feel good when other people hurt."

I never feel better seeing anyone worse off than I am.

If you're thinking anything like that, please don't say it out loud!

Of course, I have no right to tell you what to think, but if the idea that someone else's misfortune gives you a spring in your step and helps you soldier on, something is seriously wrong with you.

Here are some things it's OK to think:

Boy, that really makes me count my blessings. So much we hold dear could be taken away in an instant.

This makes me feel so much empathy. But I can only begin to imagine what it would be like in that situation.

I have no idea what it would be like to be in their shoes. So that's one more reason I can't judge the way they're coping.

I can see they're really hurting. My heart goes out to that family.

And if you pray, then pray for them.

Deep questions to ponder:

What's helping him get through this struggle?

Why am I having more trouble accepting ________ than she is?

There is a man named Mike that my husband and I give a ride to church on a regular basis.

I don't even know what's the cause of his medical problems. I just know he has trouble speaking clearly and has to have kidney dialysis three times a week.

He also loves his two turtles, Love and Faith. He talks about how they are always glad to see him.

I am too.

I have never, ever seen him without a smile or heard him complain about pain or his situation.

He is always upbeat and cracks some really corny, but funny, jokes.

He is an inspiration every time I see him.

Not because I see how much worse I could be, but how much better I can be if I'm more like him.

Another inspiration is Contemporary Christian singer Jeremy Camp. He became a widower at age 23 when his wife died of ovarian cancer.

There is a depth and tenderness to people who have suffered great loss. You can't replicate it or get it any way but the hard way.

No one ever wants the pain and would usually undo what caused it, if given the chance. But what's gained is more priceless than gold.

I heard one of Camp's songs at one of the many funerals I've been to this year. I'll let it speak for itself:



Next time you see someone with severe financial, health, work, etc. problems or they've suffered some other great loss and they're smiling, it's definitely OK to think this:

I'll have what he's having!