Background Noise

OK, I know I haven't written in a while. If blogging were a New Year's resolution, I would have failed miserably.

But I wanted to write this down before it escaped brain again. Every time I've mentioned "this" to someone I hear, "That explains it perfectly" or a nod of understanding.

Here it is:

When you live with chronic pain, on a good day, it's like background noise.

You can push it into the background and try to focus on something else.

On a bad day, the pain is deafening.

Imagine turning the TV up to full volume, then the remote breaks and you can't turn it back down. Intense pain is like that. It overwhelms everything else and any thoughts trying to compete with the pain, usually lose.

I'm thinking about this today because first the first time in forever, I slept all night without waking up in pain. My medicine usually knocks me out for a few short hours, then I wake up and toss and turn trying to get comfortable. I wait for the time to get up.

Lately, the pain has been concentrated mostly in my back. The "ouch" really is everywhere, but whatever hurts the most screams the loudest. My doctor says it's the arthritis and the back pain will ebb and flow.

Lately, the pain has been flowing like a broken fire hydrant. But not last night.

People at church could see a difference today. My eyes were sparkling, my smile was wider. Yes, having a good day made everything seem more wonderful.

Thank you, Lord for letting a ray of sunshine peek through the clouds.

I'll remember this.